The case
I hate small talk. People who know me would be surprised to hear that, because I come across as a chatty extrovert — I even have my own science podcast — but when it comes to meetings that I’m chairing, I just want to get down to business.
I might start with, “Hi everyone, I hope you are all doing well”, but then I’ll immediately turn to the agenda. I have no patience for talk about the weather or recent holidays.
If people are talking when I arrive, I’ll let it go for a while as I unpack my bag and review the agenda.
I think people like being on committees that I chair because they all feel heard. And we end our meetings early.
Am I wrong? — Anonymous Straight Talker, who works at a US research university.
Nature reached out to other scientists to review your behaviour. Are you guilty of rudeness or simply trying to use the time efficiently?
Comments from the jury
“I hate small talk too, but I think it’s disrespectful to arrive late when others have made the effort to be there on time. I usually arrive on time and quietly, hoping everyone else gets on with the small talk while I sit and wait for the meeting to start.” — Juliana Sanchez Alponti Millar, biologist at the University of York, UK
“A few minutes of small talk helps to ease the atmosphere before a meeting. You can always set aside five minutes for that and then start the meeting.” — Mariana Belén Galeano, geneticist at IQUIBICEN in Buenos Aires.
“I understand the desire to make meetings efficient, but punctuality is also a form of respect. A good academic meeting should allow both warmth and focus, without turning small talk into wasted time.” — Jay Jesús Molino Cornejo, physicist at UDELAS, Panama City.
“Sometimes habits can be misunderstood. Simple things like saying, “Hi, how are you?” to colleagues can help people feel more comfortable around you. Even if the conversation is brief or not very deep, this kind of small talk often makes future collaboration and communication much easier.” — Monalisa Mallick, quantum engineer at Friedrich Schiller University, Jena, Germany.
“Small talk seems useless, but it lubricates social situations and helps people get to know each other. Opting out of this ritual and showing up late is your choice, but to me it seems aloof and will end up prioritizing existing relationships over new ones, because it denies new attendees the opportunity to introduce themselves and their interests.” — Maggie Swift, conservation scientist at the Cornell K. Lisa Yang Center for Wildlife Health in Ithaca, New York.
The verdict
Anonymous Straight Talker is clearly not the only person who gets impatient as one more colleague recounts their weekend or chats about the weather. But being late to a meeting on purpose seems to be crossing the line.
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