is back for a second series on BBC One, which means I'll once again be spending far too much time trying to work out who's lying, who's being murdered and why nobody else can see the incredibly obvious Traitor. Last year's winner Alan Carr wasn't exactly a master of subtlety, yet somehow got away with almost everything. David Olusoga summed it up perfectly afterwards, saying Alan “could have come down to breakfast in a green cloak” and he still wouldn't have suspected him.

I feel a particular affinity with the show because I actually used to own a duplex apartment in a castle, complete with a turret. There weren't any murders planned there, but, as the top half was an ensuite bathroom, it did make getting up in the night feel suitably dramatic. To celebrate the return of , I've come up with 12 suitably treacherous products to bring a touch of Ardross Castle into your own home — no green cloak required.